Enneagram Update: It seems that I mistyped myself
Enneagram Update: It seems that I mistyped myself
I am not a 4, I am a 7 Sexual subtype, had that part right.
I had a typing interview last week with a respected practitioner with almost 20 years of experience. Going into it, I was confident that she would verify what I thought I already knew. When she didn’t, I tried to convince her that she was wrong
After several days of gluttenously researching 7s and 4s and bombarding my loved ones with random messages about this process, it became increasingly more obvious that her assessment was correct.
It turns out that I’ve been overly confident in both my understanding of the enneagram, AND my level of self-awareness.
(It’s possible that this is another mistype or even that I will later decide that I actually reject the central enneagram premise that everybody has one core type that doesn’t change, and if so I will feel embarassed— but that feels highly unlikely at this point)
I have been having a lot of fun unpacking this experience. Realization after realization washing over me, memories resurfacing and making sense in new ways— similar to when I first met Human Design. Lots of spontaneous bursts of laughter and sometimes tears.
I knew that I was one of the types who is “self-referencing” and tends to resist dealing with the boring/mundane parts of life. For example, I should really take my car into the dealer and figure out what’s up with the brakes before I drive across the country again.
But as it turns out, the deeper reason why I do what I do, exclusively pursue wildly unrealistic romances, avoid living my life in “normal” ways and regularly make choices that some (for instance, my family) would describe as “unconventional” is not because I’m just SO authentic and motivated to be true to myself and my emotional depth no matter what— it’s simply because I am terrified of boredom.
My personality is always trying to stay stimulated and inspired, and maximize pleasure and freedom while avoiding pain and limitation.
As a 7 sexual subtype (sometimes called Fascination or Suggestibility) I’m not satisfied with just being happy, I need to be MADLY IN LOVE AND EXPLODING WITH PASSION PSYCHEDELIC EUPHORIA AND ENTHUSIASM! Anything less and I’m bored and compulsively escape into my imagination. I “express gluttony through a need to imagine something better than ordinary reality”. (CP Enneagram)
This sort of temperament has many advantages and also many difficulties. Sometimes I make a real mess of things. Hence, I mistyped as a 4
I’ve had many realizations over the years along the lines of what I’m now focused on seeing and actively addressing in myself. But as a 7, I have been utilizing the defense mechanism of rationalization to distract myself from integrating these inconvenient episodes of self-awareness and validate my escapist tendencies. I’m grateful to now have enneagram as a constant reminder!
I have a lot to say about all of this, insights keep flowing and I feel restless to express and explain. Maybe soon. If you’re curious, perhaps you can either call me (I have another solo road trip coming up and would love some entertainment!) or ask ChatGPT to try to explain what I’m talking about.
Now knowing I’m a 7, I’m feeling self conscious about sharing this news in a way that presents myself as excessively happy and delusionally positive— but also I’m not in the mood to be any more vulnerable than this on the internet today. And also I don’t owe the internet my vulnerability.
And now I must focus on preparing for and tending to the chaotic logistics of all the upcoming adventures I have planned.
Xo,
Bri